New Apple Subscription Program!

apple log

Guess what, I just got the new inside scoop on a new Apple product that hasn’t been announced yet. Hopefully I won’t get sued over this, but it is hard not to hear this stuff when you live so close to Cupertino.

Apple is going to sell a new thing: the apple loyalty subscription program. Here is how it works:

  • Step 1. You give Apple a modest $1500 a year as a membership fee.
  • Step 2. Apple gives you EVERY product they make that year, that is equal to or less than $1500.00 (subject to taxes and fine print)
  • Step 3. These products are delivered to you on the day that they are announced! (Wow! Cool!)
  • That’s it! So simple.

It’s kinda like Amazon’s 1-click, except, in true Apple genius, they have figured out how to do it with 0-clicks! (Prediction: a zero button mouse on the horizon?)

The details of the deal are even more interesting:

  • They will have a payroll deduction system for convenience! Nice!
  • There is no upper limit to the account. You can give them more money that year in order to handle that new laptop or G5/x86 desktops! Bingo!
  • There is even talk of a ‘Silver Apple’ program. With this program, you get cash into your account for every member you sign up! Now you get paid by Apple for all the people you’ve convinced to ‘switch’. Even more excuse to turn up the heat on your co-workers 🙂
  • Any money left over in the account that doesn’t go into an Apple product, gets swept into an iTunes bulk purchase account! (Just like Wheel-of-Fortune)

Man, this is going to be huge. Remember, you heard it here first!

(this post was for my good buddy Bill Tani)

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8 Responses to New Apple Subscription Program!

  1. Pingback: plaxoed! » Apple Subscription Program… funny stuff [Mark Jen’s life @ Plaxo]

  2. AV says:

    I think you’re full of it, and I live in San Francisco.

  3. ericd says:

    Sounds awesome – until I saw payroll deduction program. That seems a little odd… and makes me wonder if this is just another Apple rumor.

  4. Joe says:

    It sounds like a good idea – getting everybody to switch, challenging Microsoft once again and all… But it just doesn’t sound right. Wouldn’t they lose a ton of money very quickly? Bankruptcy is what they call it I think…

  5. MACALEX says:

    Give me break. LOL

  6. Eric says:

    I’ll believe this when Apple goes bankrupt for doing this stupid scam!

  7. Pingback: Dru’s Blog » Blog Archive » Apple’s New iPhone

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